The termination

5 weeks until I realized that I’m pregnant. I was just breaking up with my ex-boyfriend 5 weeks ago. I have to admitted that it was a really great break up sex ever. What happen now? Knowing that I don’t have a boyfriend to support me. Not even my family, it’s going to be another story to tell.

Today is Wednesday, five weeks after the break up, I decided to go home for good from Australia, where my ex-boyfriend live, I was in my hometown, somewhere is south east Asia.

Everything happened so fast, I was sick for couple days, I can’t smell savory food, I can’t eat, I feel like I want to throw up every five minutes. I ask my older sister to get me some pregnancy test, it wouldn’t be weird for her since she has two kids already. Then we went to the mall so we can just throw it to sanitary units. Couple test came back positive. I felt nothing. I took a picture and I send it to my ex-boyfriend.

Couple hours later he came back with text that explain the abortion system in my country. I was shocked because he wasn’t even asking what I want to do with my own body. Argument happened, then we got to the conclusion that termination is the only choice we have. I’m still 24, I haven’t finished my college, I’m not financially stable nor emotionally, he just bought a house meaning he has big mortgage to pay, and he literally told me that he won’t be able to support me.

I was broken all over again. Just like that night that he told me I wasn’t what he wants for his life. It was one-and-a-half-year relationship.

I can’t do it in my country, it’s illegal, I need an organization to back me up, even when I did the ultrasound I need to put the husband detail. I have to lie about it, it’s not like they asked for the marriage letter anyway.

We got to the conclusion where I’ll fly back to Australia, I still have my visa for another year. I told him I only have $2000 on me, literally. So, he did all the payment. We decided to used the Tabbot Foundation for the termination. He did actually, he did all the research.

I arrived on Sunday, we called the Tabbot foundation on Monday, everything done by phone. They make an appointment for me to do another ultrasound and blood check for the next couple days. I just can’t wait for another day to get it done. We do both things on Monday. I was drunk and sober on Monday night for no reason. Call them back on Tuesday morning to let them know that we did it. The next step is the call appointment with the nurse and doctor on Tuesday afternoon. Then psychology appointment on Wednesday afternoon.

The nurse and doctor pretty much just let me know that the blood test came back normal and I was under 8 weeks to eligible to do the medical termination. The psychology? It’s not a consultation, it’s more likely make me aware that it’s my decision and what ever happen in the future is my responsibility. They also asked about the situation at home, like if I have someone to support me emotionally, if it was my decision or my partner decision, if my partner is being abusive etc. Lets say it’s a legal requirement for the medical termination.

Everything is done. Today is Thursday afternoon. I’m sitting on Starbucks writing my story for me to read in the future. I’m waiting for the pill to be shipped.

They explaining about the pill. It’s three days process, first day is the preparation pill, second day is more like resting and to get ready for third day, the termination.  

To be continue..